We're eloping!

Anyone who has ever planned a wedding knows that it can be a little…stressful. When it came to planning our wedding, Richard and I ran into many hurdles. Vastly disproportionate family sizes, asking almost every single guest to travel, not wanting to spend an exorbitant amount of money, complete aversion to most wedding ‘traditions’ and about a hundred other things; this lead to some hilariously out-of-the-box wedding ideas. (All of which I probably would have really done.)

Nine months into our engagement, we still had no idea what we were doing. For a couple of months my brain imploded and I didn’t even think about the wedding. I started to feel disgusted with the whole process. I was not even excited about having a wedding. I just wanted to get married to my puzzle piece.

It was time to tackle the controversial question of what a wedding is ‘supposed’ to look like. Actually, we didn’t tackle it so much as we scratched and clawed at it. Then we started talking about what a wedding looked like to us. After much searching, we managed to find the common thread in our thought. That is when I decided that I really did want to elope. This was shocking even to me. I love parties and I love my family more than anyone can understand. But when I saw it in my mind, it felt right. And Richard wanted to elope too! And then it happened…I finally got excited about planning our wedding! We were not going to have a big, impersonal, showoff of a wedding and we wouldn’t be any less married.

A wedding is a personal thing; to each his own. Cover everything in flowers and serve lobster to 300 people if that is what you want. Or hang out in a barn and drink beer while a country band plays. But for us, a wedding is very intimate. And I can’t think of anything more personal than tying your heart to someone else. Except maybe giving birth and is that something you want a bunch of people witnessing either? That was the real problem I was having. I felt like it was about everyone except us. We were beating ourselves up trying to accommodate everyone and everything.

And so the decision was made. We are going to have a beautiful day together doing the things we love to do. We will get to eat the food we want. We won’t have to worry about where anyone is sitting. We won’t have to do the damned electric slide. We won’t have to stand in unnatural formations with our loved ones for photos. We will spend the day worshiping each other and fully understanding how lucky we are.

We hope you will think of us and send love.

From our hearts,

Jennifer and Richard

Tied down or tied together?

For so many years, I was some kind of gypsy. I would move to a city for some grand adventure (joining the circus, dancing in NYC, touring with theater companies, etc.) and after about six months or a year, the itch would begin. I would find some other place that I ‘needed to be’.

I did not own anything but clothing and a vehicle. The less I had the easier it was to pick up and leave. I rarely worried about furnishing or decorating where I lived. In fact, I once lived in Raleigh, NC without a single piece of furniture for six months. I slept on the floor. No air mattress for me. That’s just one more thing to move with me.

While this life was one that I truly enjoyed, I never felt ‘at home’. And honestly, I was alright with that for a long time. And then I fell in love; real, serious, grown-up love.

And that part of me didn’t die, it changed. I began to understand that the desire to up and leave was fueled largely, but not completely, by a need to escape. I could choose to see that as running away from problems, people, or situations. But what I really think is that I was running toward something. I am not the kind of person that has trouble telling people what I think or how I feel. I believe that when your heart tells you “this is not your path” then you have to listen.

It has never been an easy choice; choosing a new path. Someone always got hurt. Usually me, but not me alone. But as soon as I took the first step onto a new path, I could feel the weight lift. The steps became easier. And before I knew it, I was running.

When my heart led me to Richard, I knew that every good and bad decision in my life had led me right to this path. And I am grateful.

I admit, the itch to get up and go did strike. But it was different. Now I have this beautiful and precious person in my life. I do not feel tied down, but rather, tied together. There was a time when I thought; “If I do not get up and go right now then I am going to burst into a million pieces and I will never get them all back.” Now I feel like all those pieces are safe.  They are in good hands.

Now my desire to travel is fueled by a need to experience the world with someone that appreciates it in the same way that I do. When I want to go someplace, there is not a doubt in my mind who I want to go with me.