I'm NOT supposed to look like me?

I have a big butt. That’s right. And my hips are 40 inches wide. My arms are not as toned as they were when I was a dancer and some parts of my body move independently when they should not. However…

The setback to having an impossibly positive outlook, is that I have a strangely skewed body image. The vast majority of the time, I think I look great. Not in an I’m-better-than-you-look-at-me sort of way. Not even in an I’m-so-sexy-you-can’t-stand-it kind of way. More of a this-is-what-I-got-and-I’m-working-that-shit-hard kind of way. And like everyone else, I have days when I want to throw on a pair of sweatpants and drown my bad mood in ice cream and chocolate sauce.

I am sharing this because a recent conversation got my brain cooking. This was not a conversation I was having; I was eavesdropping. Don’t judge me.

Girl 1: I have to start working out. My thighs are touching.

Girl 2: You’re thighs aren’t supposed to touch?

Girl 1: No!

I can hear you sighing. And then I thought, what train of thought is this conversation going to trigger for Girl 2? How do the things we say about ourselves affect the way other people feel about themselves? Could the flaws we find in our own body be a catalyst for someone else’s body image issues? I had never thought about this. But once I did, I could think of a hundred times that I made a nasty face at my thighs or pinched at my waist and a derogatory jibe slipped out of my mouth.

And then it hit me like an elephant on a motorcycle. Somewhere in the depths of my brain a tiny nugget of truth peeked out. I remembered my catalyst. I was at cheerleading practice in the eighth grade. A boy, I can’t even remember who, had stopped to talk to one of the other girls. During casual conversation he matter-of-factly stated that I had thunder thighs in comparison to someone else. I didn’t even know what that meant. But I instantly felt like I should. And he said it so passively, the way you would say something like "she's got a nose."

I had always thought I had strong legs. Having been athletic as a child, I naturally had larger thighs. I secretly liked flexing them as hard as I could and tracing the edges of the muscle. But suddenly I questioned them. I wondered if they weren’t supposed to look this way. I had images of walking away from a conversation and people silently shaking their heads and say things like “Such a nice girl. It’s a shame she’s got those thunder thighs.”

And now I wonder if some arbitrary comment I had made had ever planted itself in someone’s psyche. It probably has. I feel bad for that.

So here is my challenge to you my friends:

Think before you speak.

And when you think, think good things.

Remember that there are a lot of shapes your body will be in your life.

And if the shape it is now isn’t the shape you want, it’s still yours. It keeps you alive. It shelters your soul. So respect it.

And as a little peek into the eye of the beholder, tear yourself away from the glossy magazine and check out these images of what is deemed beautiful in cultures around the world.

Your long, eleant neck would be treasured in Burma:

Your scars would be revered in Ethiopia:

In Mauritania, your volumptuous curves would the envy of everyone:

Just food for thought.